Our story about alcoholism(and Alanon!)

Exactly 9 years (March 2010) ago my husband and I had a “talk”. I didn’t know what was going on but I knew we couldn’t continue living like this. I made an appointment with a counselor at our church. My husband had been drinking nightly by himself for years. I had no idea we were living in active alcoholism. We both didn’t know the first thing about this disease. He wasn’t happy I was going to the church counselor. BUT He agreed to come to the appointment the next week and the ball started rolling! We met weekly individually and separately for 2 months . The counselor was very wise and had my husband evaluate his drinking and come up with the idea he needs to do “something”. After many different scenarios he finally had him say he could/would try to only drink one drink a night. Well that sounded great to everyone but didn’t pan out. The very wise counselor knew it wouldn’t . When we realized that wasn’t working we went into action. His brothers were now on our team. My husband thought they were NOT on his team but they were. My husband was very paranoid at this time. His brothers were super helpful and got him to a “detox” . The professional staff there ( at Pine Grove) after a few days recommended 90 days of inpatient. My husband didn’t think so! So he left! We tried regrouping and meeting again daily with the counselor. Finally (3 days later) after an unplanned and unthought-out Intervention, we ( hours and hours and hours later) got him to admit he’d go to inpatient treatment. It wasn’t a good night. I had his Dad come over and sleep on the couch. My husband was extremely depressed.

His 2 brothers,2 friends and our 3 sons were at the “intervention “. Like I said it wasn’t planned but God had it figured out. This is one of the many things that happened in this journey where God answered prayers we didn’t even pray!

The next morning he didn’t want to get out of bed. He said he felt like he was going to his funeral. Our children were all around (12th,10th,7th and 6th grades). One of my sons came into the bedroom and wrote down bible verses for him to take with him.

We finally got in the car to head south! A good friend drove him in his car. That was one of our compromises..he could have his car even though he couldn’t drive it while he was there. His brothers and I drove behind them . It felt very gloomy and dark and dreary. My stomach was in knots. The few people and family who knew were praying back in Jackson.

We dropped him off . It wasn’t fun at all. He was VERY depressed and mad 😡!

Well he stayed and bought in! It took about 45 days for for him to really realize he needed to be there! He stayed 45 more! There were MANY moments where God went before us! We knew he was in this trial with us but time and time again he proved that to us! One was having his TL (Therapuric leave) timed where he could be at his oldest sons high school graduation. He missed a lot while he was gone. One uncle took our daughter to the daddy daughter dance at Cotillion. Another son had a high ankle sprain in high school basketball. All grandparents and aunts and uncles came to my oldest sons senior party. This would be his first season not coaching our youngest son in baseball. Many people stepped in with carpooling, grocery shopping and bringing meals! Our church really was at a lost as what to do. He was a church officer and wrote most of the preachers from rehab. He thought they would want him to “step down” from his position. My husband realized our church needed to be better prepared for this type of “problem”. He started working on that as soon as he got home. I’m attaching 2 different forums where he spoke at church. He has spoken at other churches and and told his story at AA speaker meetings. I’m very proud of him. He’s very open to telling anyone anytime his story. He says it helps him as much as it helps the person who needs help or guidance.

Our life has drastically changed in last 9 years. I try my best to live one day at a time. I’m full of empathy for the alcoholic/addict/alanon who hasn’t found recovery. I’ve learned a lot in Alanon and open AA meetings. I’ve learned to stay in my own hoola hoop and stay in my lane! I’ve learned to work on me. That’s all I can control!

We are planning our oldest sons wedding(4/2019) now. One of my husbands “things/thoughts” he had on the way to rehab was “How will I do a toast at our children’s weddings?” ” I’m going to be gone on my birthday ” etc.

I understand God plans and He knows everything but it’s awful hard while you’re in the middle of it! God loves those he gives trials too! I’ve realized I need to just go through them and not around it or under it. James 1:2 was a verse I had to really ponder! Let Go Let God was also super important.. saying that helped me remember to hand everything over to God!

I visited every weekend and took the children some. We wrote letters. They were special. We had been living life on separate roads but now are on the same road walking side by side. A lot of times we’ve felt God was so close to us he was riding our shoulders. God restored our life and Marriage! I also could attend church sometimes with him while he was there . The rehab took them to a “rock-n-roll” Baptist church and we really enjoyed it. I realized that it doesn’t matter what your worship looks like as long as you’re worshipping.

While at rehab there were lots of crazy things happening all the time. I was juggling a lot at home. When he got a call home he had a lot of stories to tell about all that was going on there. I wish he had written a book. There were some bizarre things happening at rehab.

He now goes to ALOT of meetings a week. I go to a few also . They are so helpful! I am amazed how good I feel when I leave a meeting. Mostly other people’s problems are way worse than mine. It puts things in perspective. Alcoholism is a family disease.

When we used to hear that someone went to rehab we immediately thought bad. Now when we hear that we are thrilled! It means the person is getting better! They are getting help! Rehab/Treatment is good!

Another thing that has helped me is talking about it. It gets it out of your head and takes the power away! Also my husband likes to say the aa community was so anonymous that he didn’t know here was a way out!  Because of that he shares his story all the time and is willing to talk to anyone anytime.  He is not anonymous.

http://www.fpcjackson.org/resource-library/author-index/jimmy-moore

Highlands NC Girls Trip

Beautiful view from Highlands!

Highlands North Carolina is a quiet town in the mountains about two hours north of Atlanta. It is absolutely beautiful, very clean, and quaint town.

HIKING… We did some small and some long hikes. We loved WhiteSide Mtn. trail. Be sure to do the loop and not walk up and back on same trail. Beautiful views! It was one of the hardest but so worth the views!

Dry Falls is easy hike to see a HUGE waterfall. The parking lot can be tricky but just wait your turn to get a spot. The wait is not long if the lot is full. It’s not really even a ‘hike’ just a bunch of stairs (with railing).

Glen Falls is a great walk with different views of a waterfall. It is 2 miles round trip. It is easy going down but coming up is hard! It is also muddy at the bottom due to the water falling.

Satulah Mountain Summit is a straight up a paved road hike. It’s just south of town. Once you get to the top, there is a culdesac and then you walk down this trail and it opens up to beautiful views! There is a rocky place to sit to look out and see 270 degrees! The peak is at 4543 ft. The trip down takes half the time than the trip up. It took my daughter and I about 45 minutes to go up and 20 minutes to go down. You can park behind the old Edwards Inn in their parking lot or on the side of the main street and just start walking. The houses are GORGEOUS!

Beautiful views

Highlands Nature Center is closed right now due to Covid but the Botanical Garden is open. It is behind the Center and has some wonderful walking trails and boardwalks. There are nearly 500 species of mosses,ferns, and wildflowers featured. It’s very shady. It’s across the street from The Highland Hiker. It is a store for anyone who loves the outdoors.

Great easy walking trail!~

EATING 🍽 …All the restaurants are socially distancing and so they’re at 50% capacity. Most every restaurant requires reservations. It was hard to get a reservation but we got into Wild Thyme Gourmet and thoroughly enjoyed it. My trout was delicious! We also loved 4118 Kitchen and Bar which is in a strip mall near the grocery store. It does not look like anything exciting from the outside or really the inside but the food is incredible! The Ugly Dog Pub was a perfect place for lunch outside. We went over to Cashiers for lunch for one day ate at Cornucopia . I highly recommend it!

The ice cream shop on Main Street is pricey but really yummy! Kilwins is the name of it. The Mountain Fresh Grocery was also great. My daughter, my niece, and my sister needed to do work on their computers so they went to the Mountain Fresh to get great WiFi and seating! My sister suggests their oatmeal.

We went to the Log Cabin restaurant the last night. My fish (tilefish) wasn’t the best but everyone else loved their food! Service was not their specialty.

SHOPPING … There are so many cute stores! Walking up and down Main Street was so fun! My favorite was a ladies only golf shop. It’s called Classic Linens and Luggage. Be sure to check out the sale room in the back. The Molly Grace was also darling. We got a few things in AnnaWear, too.

In Cashiers, the farmer market is very popular and Cornucopia a great place for a casual lunch! We loved The Robins Nest and Honey Bee for shopping.

Cashiers farmers mkt.

Cute granddaughters!

Sisters

Mom and daughters and granddaughters

Mom and Sisters!

Mom and granddaughters

Doing our best! Masks are required everywhere in NC!

Outside the Ugly Dog Pub

Mississippi flag excitement!

I was so proud of the way Mississippi handled ourselves with the latest flag issue. Our legislature and lieutenant governor really got busy working on how to make it work to retire our state flag. Here are some of my favorite quotes and wonderful articles that I read and really loved! I’m not sure who said these things on the floor of the house or senate but they made an impact on me.

“We’re not erasing our history but affirming our future..”

“Vote today for Mississippi of tomorrow “

“A politician thinks about next election..but a statesman thinks about the next generation. “

https://www.wsj.com/articles/mississippi-legislature-passes-bill-to-change-state-flag-11593385788

By retiring our current flag, Mississippi can show America who we really are

https://www.wsj.com/articles/mississippi-furls-its-divisive-flag-11593535434

https://uwepray.com/articles/united-we-pray-time

A Statement on the Flag of Mississippi

Cossar State Park 2020

The park features boating, waterskiing and fishing on 28,000-acre Enid Lake, 83 campsites, 13 camper cabins, visitors center ( pictures of my grandfather) , 18-hole disc golf course, 18-hole miniature golf course, picnic area, beach volleyball and a 2.2-mile nature trail. One of our family traditions is putting out and checking the trotlines.

Our Family stays in the camper cabins. You have to reserve cabins 2 years in advance. We usually have all 13 rented. Mississippi state parks have been closed for about three months due to Covid. They re-opened at the beginning of June and we were able to have our Family reunion three weeks later. Everything was outside so thankfully we were all safe.

This is a tradition with our family that goes back probably 50 or so years.

Genesis and Kristen

Greezer, Harper and Heather

Chip
Trot line 🐟🐢
Deer everywhere

30A Songwriters Festival

This was a first for us! We had never heard of this festival .. we really aren’t festival type people and we certainly aren’t musical, but we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

This is a 4 day songwriters festival. It is a very interesting profession. We learned all about how much each songwriter makes per song they write. The head lawyer for the industry spoke to us one morning before an event at Bud and Ally’s. He said if you pay for Spotify or any music download that’s the best way the songwriters get paid. If you do the free version they still make some but not much.

Each download is how its calculated.

We loved almost every musician we heard. The ones we heard the last night weren’t our favorites but we still had best time!

We started out on Friday night at a private John Prine concert with his son Tommy. It was incredible. There were no phones or videos allowed. There were probably around 200-250 people in this venue.

They told so many stories and then sang the songs they wrote about.

After that we walked down to the venue where Elizabeth Cook was singing. There were probably about 40 people there and she was really good. She told great stories and we really like the song about her heroin addict sister.

Saturday morning we went early to Bud And Ally’s. It was called Hair of the Dog. We loved Gretchen Peters ,Kim Ritchie , Jeff Black and Mary Gauthier. They told fabulous stories about the songs that they had written and the venue also served us coffee or lunch/brunch/ snacks while we were sitting there. There were about 100 people there at the most. I strongly suggest listening to Mercy Now by Mary Gauthier.

The War after the War and I drink are also awesome! We met most of them afterwards and I will post some pictures.

Setting up for Hair of the Dog show

Saturday afternoon we went to the big venue and set up our chairs to hear John Prine! Tanya Tucker and the Indigio Girls went before him. They sang the songs you would expect ! Delta Dawn and Closer to,Fine. Tanya sang new song about Bring me Flowers now. She won a Grammy the next week. It was raining during John Prine and a lot of people left but we stuck it out. John Prines son Tommy and wife Fiona came out and sang the last song with

him.

Sunday morning was the highlight! We went all the way to Alys beach to the Gospel brunch. We missed the first seating (930)and stood in line an hour to get in the next seating(11). That outdoor venue held 350. We were on the second row and it was wonderful. Karyn Williams, Brian White, Mac Powell who all told stories and sang Christian songs. It was a very moving service that was outdoors and it was very chilly.

Saturday night we went to hear Livingston Taylor. He is James Taylor’s brother and is quite an entertainer. That venue held about 300.

Sunday afternoon we went back to the big venue and set up to hear Brian White of the Beach boys. Don McLean was before him. It was very chilly again and we enjoyed it. Brian White came out on a walker and I’m not sure if he sang or not but he sat at his white piano.

Sunday night we ate at Basmatis.

We went to some venues (Vue) that were near where we were staying. They were neat small venues but the singers we did not enjoy it as much as the musicians we had seen already.

Carpet and area where John Prine sang Friday night ( no phones allowed)

Elizabeth Cook ( she’s very funny but her song about her herion addict sister is serious!)
Gretchen Peters( listen to her song 5 minutes)
Jeff Black and my friend Donna
Amanda Wooten,me,Donna and Jamiee ( not sure last name) and Mary Gauthier. ( listen to Mary’s song War after War and I drink)
John Prine
Tommy,Fiona and John Prine
Livingston Taylor
Lifelong friends (4 of us in same high school class)
Freezing watching Brian White and Beach Boys

Steamboat/Snowmass 2020

We love to go out west! Especially in February.

For some reason the flights into Steamboat /Hayden are very inexpensive the week before Presidents Day.

We stayed in Steamboat at the Inn at Steamboat. It was cozy and quaint. I will definitely go back. We only skied one day. Lift tickets are extremely high .

Our favorite places to eat was Salt and Lime and Creekside Cafe.

I loved the local candy store called Fuzziwigs. and Skull Creek Greek for quick lunch.

Cool barn we stopped and took pic of
Horses with dogs hanging out
—panda and Jack
Panda
Just born
Harrison with Panda and Jack
View from Harrisons Barnominium
Rebel and Toast
Steamboat sking
Lunch after sking while skies were still blue.
Snowmass
Favorite restaurants in Snowmass are the Stewpot and IL Poggio and Fuel for coffee and smoothies. L’Hostaria in Aspen is delicious and always looks like famous people everywhere. The Aspen airport has so many jets that’s mind boggling.
I recommend Alux Spalon for pedicure.
Wildwood next to the Westin is old and run down but location is fabulous.
Snowy,windy,cold

Seth Meyers: Lobby Baby

I thought this was a 5/5. I don’t love Seth Myers nighttime show but this is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while!

Yash Bansal Game & TV Reviews

While I don’t think stand-up comedy is Seth Meyers’s strongest suit, I had fun with “Lobby Baby.” He does a good job with storytelling and some of the jokes were pretty funny. However, there were others that were a little amusing but not particularly memorable. He does do something unique with the political segment in this special that I thought was very clever and unique that I would say is worth checking out. Overall, I don’t think I’d watch this special again and there are better ones on Netflix, but I thought it was fine for a one time watch.

3/5 STARS

View original post

Our story about alcoholism( and Alanon!)

Exactly 9 years ago my husband and I had a “talk”. I didn’t know what was going on but I knew we couldn’t continue living like this. I made an appointment with a counselor at our church. My husband had been drinking nightly by himself for years. I had no idea we were living in active alcoholism. We both didn’t know the first thing about this disease. He wasn’t happy I was going to the church counselor. BUT He agreed to come to the appointment the next week and the ball started rolling! We met weekly individually and separately for 2 months . The counselor was very wise and had my husband evaluate his drinking and come up with the idea he needs to do “something”. After many different scenarios he finally had him say he could/would try to only drink one drink a night. Well that sounded great to everyone but didn’t pan out. The very wise counselor knew it wouldn’t .

When we realized that wasn’t working we went into action. His brothers were now on our team. My husband thought they were NOT on his team but they were. My husband was very paranoid at this time. His brothers were super helpful and got him to a “detox” . The professional staff there ( at Pine Grove) after a few days recommended 90 days of inpatient. My husband didn’t think so! So he left! We tried regrouping and meeting again daily with the counselor. Finally (3 days later) after an unplanned and unthought out Intervention, we ( hours and hours and hours later) got him to admit he’d go to inpatient treatment. It wasn’t a good night. I had his Dad come over and sleep on the couch. My husband was extremely depressed.

His 2 brothers,2 friends and our 3 sons were at the “intervention “. Like I said it wasn’t planned but God had it figured out. This is one of the many things that happened in this journey where God answered prayers we didn’t even pray!

The next morning he didn’t want to get out of bed. He said he felt like he was going to his funeral. Our children were all around (12th,10th,7th and 6th grades). One of my sons came into the bedroom and wrote down bible verses for him to take with him.

We finally got in the car to head south! A good friend drove him in his car. That was one of our compromises..he could have his car even though he couldn’t drive it while he was there. His brothers and I drove behind them . It felt very gloomy and dark and dreary. My stomach was in knots. The few people and family who knew were praying back in Jackson.

We dropped him off . It wasn’t fun at all. He was VERY depressed and mad 😡!

Well he stayed and bought in! It took about 45 days for for him to really realize he needed to be there! He stayed 45 more! There were MANY moments where God went before us! We knew he was in this trial with us but time and time again he proved that to us! One was having his TL (Therapuric leave) timed where he could be at his oldest sons high school graduation. He missed a lot while he was gone. One uncle took our daughter to the daddy daughter dance at Cotillion. Another son had a high ankle sprain in high school basketball. All grandparents and aunts and uncles came to my oldest sons senior party. This would be his first season not coaching our youngest son in baseball. Many people stepped in with carpooling, grocery shopping and bringing meals! Our church really was at a lost as what to do. He was a church officer and wrote most of the preachers from rehab. He thought they would want him to “step down” from his position. My husband realized our church needed to be better prepared for this type of “problem”. He started working on that as soon as he got home. I’m attaching 2 different forums where he spoke at church. He has spoken at other churches and and told his story at AA speaker meetings. I’m very proud of him. He’s very open to telling anyone anytime his story. He says it helps him as much as it helps the person who needs help or guidance.

Our life has drastically changed in last 9 years. I try my best to live one day at a time. I’m full of empathy for the alcoholic/addict/alanon who hasn’t found recovery. I’ve learned a lot in Alanon and open AA meetings. I’ve learned to stay in my own hoola hoop and stay in my lane! I’ve learned to work on me. That’s all I can control!

We are planning our oldest sons wedding(4/2019) now. One of my husbands “things/thoughts” he had on the way to rehab was “How will I do a toast at our children’s weddings?” ” I’m going to be gone on my birthday ” etc.

I understand God plans and He knows everything but it’s awful hard while you’re in the middle of it! God loves those he gives trials too! I’ve realized I need to just go through them and not around it or under it. James 1:2 was a verse I had to really ponder! Let Go Let God was also super important.. saying that helped me remember to hand everything over to a God!

I visited every weekend and took the children some. We wrote letters. They were special. We had been living life on separate roads but now are on the same road walking side by side. A lot of times we’ve felt God was so close to us he was riding our shoulders. God restored our life and Marriage! I also could attend church sometimes with him while he was there . The rehab took them to a “rock-n-roll” Baptist church and we really enjoyed it. I realized that it doesn’t matter what your worship looks like as long as you’re worshipping.

While at rehab there were lots of crazy things happening all the time. I was juggling a lot at home. When he got a call home he had a lot of stories to tell about all that was going on there. I wish he had written a book. There were some bizarre things happening at rehab.

He now goes to ALOT of meetings a week. I go to a few also . They are so helpful! I am amazed how good I feel when I leave a meeting. Mostly other people’s problems are way worse than mine. It puts things in perspective. Alcoholism is a family disease.

When we used to hear that someone went to rehab we immediately thought bad. Now when we hear that we are thrilled! It means the person is getting better! They are getting help! Rehab/Treatment is good!

Another thing that has helped me is talking about it. It gets it out of your head and takes the power away! Also my husband likes to say the aa community was so anonymous that he didn’t know here was a way out!  Because of that he shares his story all the time and is willing to talk to anyone anytime.  He is not anonymous.

http://www.fpcjackson.org/resource-library/author-index/jimmy-moore

https://al-anon.org/